I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.