yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
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Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.