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• (913): View more from Kansas

  You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.

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• (626): View more from California

  it was like eating out sand paper

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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• (415): View more from California

  i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza

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• (914): View more from New York

  I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier

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• (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My glasses were in the garbage this morning

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.

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