We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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