I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she told me i tasted like america
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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