his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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