Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
