we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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