mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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