I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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