we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
