Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
