u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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