And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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