Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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