I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
