Define "chronic" masturbator.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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