One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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