Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
