69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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