I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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