So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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