he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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