I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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