okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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