using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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