hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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