Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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