erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
