omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
