i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
there is glitter all over my balls
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
