i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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