Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
