I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
