don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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