Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
