tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
