What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
