he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
