His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
