I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
