HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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