What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no, he came in my armpit
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
