Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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