Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
