Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
