Can i not drive my cunt home
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
