i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
