shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
