nutella sex= disaster
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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