maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We need to rekindle our bromance
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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