I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Someone stole a lamp last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
