dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
