i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
