new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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