the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
