I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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