She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize