I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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