She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
