After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize